The time has come. It’s been some time in the making. But it’s here now. And it scares the crap out of me.
Rewind those years and I was
plodding waddling along in the final stages of my first pregnancy. Waddling, yes, I was under some misconceptions that I figured out too late, and so looked like a beached whale for the last trimester.
I loved my belly, it was a beautiful beach ball of a belly, and moving into the final stages, i was getting everything into place. Well trying to anyway.
In one fell swoop that went out the window.
Baby shower at 34 weeks and my belly was this shape. I was young and naive but I knew something was different. How different I was soon to find out.
Next time I’m at the hospital for a check up i ask a few pertinent questions. Even I knew that leaking fluid was probably not the best thing to be happening at that point.
“we’ll keep you in and if you don’t have bub in a couple of days well induce you”
I really didn’t want to hear that.
I was nowhere near ready to have a baby. Mentally, physically, or any other way.
And it really didn’t help that there was a very vocal lady in the room backing into me. Little did I know that would soon be me.
Roll on several hours and my sister came to visit. I am so glad she did…. whoops, my waters broke.
I’m officially in labour. 8pm.
Somewhere around 9pm hubby finally turns up. (Hubby is night fill manager at a supermarket so working til 1-2am, ie, close near by as we lived 45 mins out of town).
Long story short. Don’t get pumped full of pethadine when you have a short labour.
2 hrs after it all started I have my baby. Yep, 2 hrs. (i got ‘lucky’ as my other two labours were both somewhere in that vicinity aswell).
No, I don’t have my baby.
His birth was not smooth and he came out blue, so straight into the humicrib and they whisk him away.
My worst nightmare (at the time, I have much worse now) had come true.
During a pre natal class we went through the labour wards and shown all the equipment that can be used depending on circumstances. Yep, I got them all.
Add to that I had a room full of doctors, nurses, specialists and probably trainees….sending room only peoples!
I am finally allowed back to my room and they bring my son to me.
I am still doped up and have no feelings at all towards this creature. It’s a baby, ok. Oh, it’s mine. Can I go to sleep now..?
On about day 3 I discovered I had a baby!! and so motherhood really began. I was a new young mum with a baby that had a tube down his nose. Not a good introduction.
Was he a good baby? He was the ‘perfect’ baby. If I could have had 10 of him I would have. (well, not really, 10 is not ideal) and I did renege on this at around age 13-14 though.
One small hiccup, Hydroceles and surgery at age 15mths… not very pleasant and although it would have been nice to know before hand that premmie babies are prone, I dont think I would have handled it very well.
He slept through early,(still likes to sleep) and had good routines…. The other two. Well they are another kettle of fish. And their day will come.
Why do I tell this story. Well, today, the 13th September my first born turns 16, collects his drivers license (yikes and drives us home!) and is growing into a wonderful and mature young man that I am very proud of.
And while embarking on this next journey is scary, it’s all an adventure, and we welcome it with open arms.
Oh, the day of my baby shower… Mum told me she knew it wouldn’t be long before I had my baby. I’m just glad she never said anything at the time. It came out later and I told her I had thought the same thing, I just didn’t need to know about it at the time.
And the day of his birth… Friday the 13th.
Happy Birthday Ryan, we love you so very much and are extremely proud of you!
Keep smiling, even when it’s hard and you don’t want to 🙂
And this morning. The first one I like, he had a lovely smile. He prefers the second one…