Refresh and rethink

So much has been happening in my life, I’ve been all over the show since the beginning of the year. A lot has been going on in all aspects of my life and I’ve finally figured out a few things. Life has changed. I have changed. And my focus has changed on what I want and where I’m going. Adding to that is my starting of a full time job in the next few weeks that will be certainly change everything. Doing the 9-5 thing 5 days a week will be a big adjustment. I suppose that’s what kids and the husband are for – cooking and cleaning ;-) They are good for many other things…making me smile everyday is just the start of the long list. It’s been a long road, they are important to me, and I wouldn’t have them any other way.

I’m re-focusing on things and deciding what really matters and can stay and “what will give” as a friend recently said to me.
I love to do so many creative things – photography, writing, my beads, cooking even – that I have to work out which stays, and then there’s my running. It’s become not just that thing to keep me fit and strong, and healthy, but I a new addiction. I have to do it. I need to do it. And as with all things I get excited about, I do the whole ‘bury myself in it’. I have so many plans of where I want it to take me. It is my mind’s saviour. That complete and utter ‘me’ time.
Blogs and social media have had to be reconfigured so I can get the best of it without spending all my time having worrying about what’s happening or needing to update things. I want to be active with it because it makes me happy, not let it take over and be a slave to it.
Blogs are all but going by the wayside. I’ll be around, but in different forms. My personality deemed I opened a whole slew of the bloody things to cater for all my creativeness. The time to re focus which I will use has come. For the most part, they wont be used much. Only the ones for my market, beads, and running.
Facebook would be left completely really if it weren’t for the market I run that relies on FB for minor advertising. Twitter is just sitting there, minding it’s own business.
I’ve taken a liking to Instagram – it appeases my love of creative and abstract photography and connecting with like-minded people for my interests – running/food/jewellery/photography.
The two accounts are Jennifer-marcato and crazychickrunning for those who may be interested. Links for the other are on each.

Catch you all round somewhere, sometime.
Thanks for joining me.
Jennifer :-)

It’s Mother’s Day

It’s Sunday here in Australia and Mother’s Day. I’m not getting any presents. No meals will be prepared for me today. I will still be doing household things, and making sure everything is ready for school tomorrow.
I love my mum and everything she has done for the four us kids. I have nothing but admiration for single parents, yes parents. Even single dads who have mostly/all custody have to be mum sometimes. Especially if they have daughters.

Today though I have a different take on it. Mother’s day isn’t about presents and material things. It is about the being of a being a mother. It’s how I feel about being a mother. Especially now they’re teens.

Mother’s day is everyday my kids talk to me. Without grunting.
Mother’s day is every day they smile and high-five me.
Mother’s Day is everyday they let me hug them, without the grumbling.
Mother’s Day is every time they thanks me for something.
Mother’s Day is the odd times they do things, completely without being asked.
Mother’s day is everyday they wake up, healthy, and reasonably happy.
Mother’s Day is every day knowing I have raised pretty cool kids.
Mother’s day is everyday when we poke fun at each other, and still laugh about it.
Mother’s day is everyday.

Facing your mortality

We are all going to die. Hopefully later rather than sooner. Sometimes we find ourselves in a situation that brings us face to face with our mortality. Sometimes through this realisation people take on a whole new outlook on their life – doing things they never had, but always wanted to, because you never know when your time is up.
I don’t think that is the case with us, but after Thursday just gone, with the situation we faced, some things will change. In regards to our motorbike.

It was one of those days where the signs were all out – little things that in hindsight were pointers it wasn’t all going well.
This was going to be the last ride before the bike went into hibernation for winter. Only now that hibernation will be a few months longer.

Those who know us, know we like a bit of speed. And yes that can dangerous. It wasn’t a factor in this case. And for the vehicle we ran into. It wasn’t their fault either.
This was quite simply an accident. If we had been in a car it would have still happened, only we would have been face palmed by an airbag rather than the ground.

A friend told me of a saying she had heard “you’re not a real bike rider til you’ve come off”. Always the pillion never the rider but I sure as hell hope I never come off again.
Just the act of us riding together on the same bike and having everything go wrong has one result – instant orphans for our 3 kids. I think of this every time we have gone out. Though there is a fine line between wrapping yourself in cotton wool and getting out there and living.

This has scared me. A lot. Not quite enough to never get back on again. But just enough to make me cautious. That old saying about getting back on the horse is true. I love riding enough that I am still eager to keep going. Being scared is not a bad thing. It makes us a little warier, giving us a better understanding of what is at stake. In real-time. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right?

There is a moment when you see the scene unfolding in front of you that the ‘oh fuck, this is going to be close’ turns to a scared as shit ‘Oh FUCK!’. You know what is going to happen, and you have no way to stop it. My husband was in evasive action mode, I was hanging on, not really conscious of what the hell was about to happen. I knew we would connect, but my memory is a blur of those few seconds before impact. The feeling of ‘holy shit’ is about all I remember of that.
I know the bike flicked one way, then the other as we swerved to come round behind the car.
I didn’t see the windows of the car. I didn’t hear the thud as we connected. I didn’t feel the vehicle at all. But I felt the pain. In the instant before I blacked out.
Feeling the bike to my left falling onto me. Feeling of landing on my husband ‘oh fuck, I’ve squashed him!’. Seeing the bank rushing up to meet me with my hands out stretched ‘nooo, not my head’.
I came to, a split second later ‘wow, nothing hurts…what the hell happened…where am I…I’ve got to get out of here…’ and trying to push backwards off my stomach. Seeing the vehicle parked in the driveway. ‘what just happened…I thought that car was on the road…” Then the pain. My leg!! ‘fuck, noo, my leg, my leg…’ A flurry of activity as my husband was jumping up from somewhere on my left and calling my name.
Realising my leg was all good I giggled nervously, being close to tears as I was. Ripped off my gloves and helmet as fast as my shaking fingers would let me. I needed to breath. The bike was upside down in the drain. Looking rough, but ok.

And then it hit me. I sat on the bank. And shook. Holding my leg. Hubby was in shock. Sweat pouring down his face. Tears threatening to fall.
It’s been played back every time someone has been told.
A split second either way. Either of us going faster or slower and the result could have been a whole lot different.
Although I am pretty calm when I talk about it, this will play with me for some time to come.
My son rides a bike. All his friends ride bikes. I worry.
There is profound change in how we will now ride and what we do. My husband has come off dirt bikes before but this will change his thought process in a whole different way.

Facing your mortality, no matter the circumstances is a scary thing.
It brings everything you believe in to the fore.
Facing your mortality changes who you are. In subtle and not so subtle ways.
You take stock of more than just yourself when mortality slaps you in the face.

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We are both ok, with a few new battle scars to show off. A few hours were spent in the emergency department getting checked over and patched up.
I have a corker of a bruise on my right shin at the point of impact, a great rectangular shaped one, one on each knee, and my left thigh where I may have connected with some part/s of the bike.
Hubby has at least another week at home – his right hand was centre stage on the bike at impact, with the brake lever being snapped off – severely bruised hand, broken pinky, sore ribs, gouge out of knee to make sure he is fit for work and the swelling isn’t hiding anything more serious.
Somehow my husband saw it all in slow motion, reaching out to grab me so I didn’t fly too far and be more injured.
I aim to learn something new everyday, no matter how small. That lesson? Bike gear does what it’s supposed to do. Our jackets prevented shoulders, elbows, back and chests from being damaged. Boots made sure ankles were safe and took the brunt of the impact. Helmets..yeah, our heads are still in one piece.

Blog Links to Follow

As I will be leaving this blog for an unknown time, here are the links to what I will be concentrating on this year. I’d love to see some, all, any of you come and visit me.
Clicking on the picture to take you to each site.

Foody Blog – Food. Coffee. And a motorbike. Simple and honest food reviews – The Cafe Run.  wpid-imag5679.jpg
Find more posts about food runs on Twitter using the following tag #TheCafeRun


 

Photography Blog – through the lens

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I’m lacking in photographic motivation at the moment, (even though I am constantly surrounded by it) but my travel photos – at the very least – will be shared.


 

Beady (& craft) blog –  Marcato Designs

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Which also has been sorely neglected. But I’ve decided that this is my year and I plan on promoting the shit out if it   like crazy (and working really hard making beautiful stuffs jewellery).  You’ll find Facebook, Twitter and website links on the blog if you so desire following along.


 

And if you’re interested in my market escapades the market I co-ordinate, please check out the website (Facebook link on the page).  Woodbridge Village Market.

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Jennifer :-)

 

HNY 2015, it’s time for a break

I’ve tried to figure out the words to say this, going over in my head different ways of putting it out there. And most of the time what I am thinking would work, I just don’t remember what it was when it comes to putting pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard.
It’s a new year and I have to pull my finger out, head down-arse up, knuckle down, get a move on. Basically make some decisions and get on with the work that needs doing. This blog has been unused for some time, I’ve lost interest in the banality as I’ve branched out with others – food, photos, market, and my writing – and even my crafty one has been sadly neglected.
What I am saying is that I will be taking a hiatus from here but not from blogging altogether. You will still find me floating about the blogosphere.

I have to get out, take more photos and practice practice practice. I love the foody posts, it’s my way of sharing a little bit of my state with the world from a layman’s point of view (as compared to proper food bloggers/reviewers who pick everything apart and can be a tad pretentious). The market page is self explanatory and my craft, my lovely beaded work I have to get back into and blog more about it.
My writing, I am really enjoying what I’ve been working on, and hope to get it out there in some form. It’s a work in progress.

But enough of that. A new year means new beginnings, new adventures and learning new things.
For those that don’t already follow and haven’t seen my photos, check out the pictures of Sydney-Hobart yachts I took this morning. Clicking on the picture will take you there.
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Thank you to all who have followed, liked and commented, it’s an honour every time I see the notifications box.
Have an amazing 2015, may it be big and exciting!
Jennifer :-)