Tag Archives: hubby

I’m back :-)

Well, kind of back.
I’m still keeping a low profile and only posting on two blogs, very occasionally on a third.
Given this is the original and more populated of them all I’m posting here to let you know I haven’t completely fallen off the earth.

Check out (and follow if want) the new posts on Café Run and Crazy Chick Running.

It’s all about motorbikes, food and running these days.

Jen 🙂

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times….

This was my day. I had plans to write a completely different post until I got two lots of bad news, and sat in wonder at the…at the absolute waste and sadness of it all.
I had organised this day to within an inch of its life (after the new events I really shouldn’t say that) and all was going well, one or two small hitches but it all came together.
The best news of the day was that my eldest now has his licence. His P plates, that licence to drive without adult supervision. When I first heard of the minor dilemma, I was angry, then later realised I am happy I wasn’t there or I would’ve had a meltdown. Seriously, that’s where I am at the moment. But dilemma aside, he drove capably and is now licensed to drive, and barely got home before he took off to collect his girlfriend and take her out. I fear I shall never see him again…. (Again, not a good choice of words).

The other cool thing, mr 14 often misses out on things, so I really wanted today to go to plan so I was able to attend a mini awards ceremony. The Mystate Student Film Festival. Even though our school didn’t win anything, or even have our movie shown, we were one of the finalists which, when going up against some the bigger schools, is no mean feat. There were show bags – really good popcorn, a bottle of water and a rubber piggy bank. (We snavelled extras to take home, for the family). I must say there were some very good movies there, even for the younger age groups, which were about the 11 & 12 year olds.
Part of this post was to include a picture with a whole “outfit supplied by” caption, but I felt too frivolous and shallow posting things like that when there is so much else happening.
A third good thing, (I’m working really hard to find good things to write if you haven’t noticed) was mr 9. He is a force to be reckoned with, but generally well behaved. I had him walk to the post office to be ‘babysat’ til nan and big bro picked him up, and when I called in too say thanks, I was told he was quiet as a mouse and very well behaved. And then she called me a walking licorice allsort.

The last 3 days have been all shitty news. Death that is not foreseen, that happens when you least expect it, is the pits. And that’s putting it nicely. And whatever you thoughts of Christmas, when you leave a spouse and children behind, it becomes even more heartbreaking. A parent should never have to bury their child, no matter the age. I’m just happier with the latest news that hubby asked me to check the text he sent me and we were on the phone when I found out. Trying to talk while you are both crying is not good, and when there is 2000k between you, it make sit a little harder.
Death has affected some or all of my family in one way or another this week, and not only do I have to deal with end of school stuff and booking in when I can work, but now I have to let them know there is a funeral to go to.

But life goes on. It will be hard for many people for quite some time, and all we can do is be there for them. Christmas will never be the same, not in the near future anyway. I don’t want to face the day my parents are no longer here, but how do kids, who are younger than my youngest, cope with such a huge thing.

Normally when feel sad, I would go and do something to make my self feel better, but right now, I’m going to just stay this way, and go to bed. Tomorrow is a new day, a day to start moving along, and get things organised. I won’t forget, but I won’t let it dictate my next move either.
I briefly thought about not finishing a post about Christmas after this, but controversial or otherwise that it may be, I will still do it. It is not taking away from anyone’s beliefs, or what you choose to do.

Be well and be safe.
Tell you loved ones how much they mean, you never know when today may be the last.

Jennifer. xx

This is not my picture but it fits my mood at the moment. It was kindly sent to me by Professor VJ Duke.  I had ideas about  writing a short story based around the picture. I am still working on this slowly.

This is not my picture but it fits my mood at the moment. It was kindly sent to me by Professor VJ Duke.
I had ideas about writing a short story based around the picture. I am still working on this slowly.

 

Alfresco Sa… wait there, what day is it again?

That about sums it up right now. I’ve been so busy this week, I’ve missed a few of my regular posts. Saturday I thought of it, did something else then forgot completely. Sunday I didn’t get a break from 6am to about 10pm when I finally fell into bed. By the way – our market went off with a BANG!! It was a rip snorter. We opened up at 7 and until 4 when we left it was busy. Full hall, loads of people and colour – we did it! While I tell myself “you’ve done everything you need to, it will all come together” it’s easier to say than do, and I was freaking a little. I shouldn’t have worried, we were over run with people.
I also had some asking me for application forms…eek. It’s gonna be fun the next few weeks sorting through who’s coming and where we’re going to put them.

Hubby and I went out this morning and I can tell you, I haven’t fully relaxed for days, and that coffee was just the thing I needed.
If you’re interested in what I’m talking about, head over here to our market page. I started it last year purely as a blog for the market, a blurb and pictures of what went on. Now, it’s evolved into a one stop shop (a few things need tweaking).

I’ll get back to my regular nonsense soon enough. In the meantime I’ll finish this coffee and get ready for dinner.

Friends and Belonging.

“I have no friends. I am friendless. No one likes me, and no one talks to me. Well, not unless they have to, or they want to pick on me. They call me a snob, and poke fun at my clothes, or my hair. I’m a snob because I don’t talk to anyone (I don’t know what to say so I don’t say anything at all), and I think I’m better than everyone (well, sometimes I do, because I don’t backstab or bitch about people, how can I when I don’t even talk?). I have one friend. But she has moved away, and we don’t talk as much any more.
I withdraw into myself, it’s easier that way. Better to be teased for not saying anything than what I do say”

If I could have written this when I was in high school, that is what it would have said. Sure girls are horrible, but boys can just as bad. Girls are cliquey, and can perfect the ostracising, boys are just nasty in their straight forward nature of saying it how it is. High school sucks, kids are mean. And some of them don’t grow up, or they do, but stay “mean girls” – we’ve all met them.

College was better. I had a great group of fiends, but as they lived in town and I had to travel, there was still a lot I just couldn’t be a part of. I dealt with that easily enough, I had a boyfriend and so weekends were full of doing other things. They were good friends, and we had some fun times. But did we stay in touch afterwards? No. We went our separate ways and I spose it means we weren’t real friends, or at least I wasn’t.

Friendships come and go. I heard somewhere that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a life time. I’ve had plenty of seasons, a few reasons (if I am to read those ones correctly) and one (at least) for a life time. I think 30 years is a good start to that. I hate confrontation, and try where ever possible to not get into one. I will run and not do anything before I confront you. Passive aggressive much!? But watch out if I do blow my top at you. Believe me, you will know I m not happy. I’ve had a few of those too. Make me nervous as hell, and feel sick, but knowing I am doing the right thing. Most of these are around because I would run head long into a friendship, it was an all or nothing thing, (like I am with most interests I persue), and of course it all falls apart rather quickly (the friendship that is). Somewhat desperate I think now.

I learnt my lesson. The hard way. And withdrew into myself. Back to the teenager who wouldn’t tall anyone. Who didn’t want to make friends in case they got hurt. I survived.
I became aloof, and would be reserved when it came to making new friends. We moved several times, and after another full on, gang busters friendship that fell apart (did I not learn my lesson? And I have since sorted it out and apologised) it took me several years of slowly slowly before I said ‘yes, we are friends’. I am vaguely still in touch with them, hubby is more so as he sees them on and off when he’s at work and our eldests’ still really close friends.

Why am I saying this?
In the last couple of months, (yes, it has taken me that long, we’ve been back for two years already) to find, know and feel I belong.
Because of my delightful friendship history I am wary of those who want to be my friends. Not wary so much, but unsure as to why they want to be my friend. What is it about me?
I first thought of this just recently when I was asked to a birthday dinner with a group of friends. Yes, I call them friends, we can catch up in the street and chat. But it’s more than that. It’s the size of the group, the closeness, and that they want me to join them.
I know it might sound strange, but once I got home after the dinner, I felt like I belonged. Really belonged. For the first time there were people who expected nothing from me, but me. They have no idea how much it meant to me (although some of them might now, if they read this). I never doubted their friendship, but was more wary about giving myself fully, too quickly. Last night cemented it for me.

This is a huge thing for me to say, and hubby aside, not many people know about it. It’s also not something I ever thought writing about, until recently I realised that at some point, I had to.

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And cause its playing on the radio as I write this, some lyrics from Brass in Pocket, one of my all time favourite songs.
Oh, ’cause I gonna make you see
There’s nobody else here, no one like me
I’m special, so special
(I got to have some of your attention, give it to me!)

Maybe a little narcissistic, maybe that’s just me.

(Photo comes from this link)

Bringing some routine to the madness

While drinking enjoying my coffee earlier and typing the post I began thinking about whether I should bring some routine to the week. Something to look forward to…

Each Saturday I am in Kingston as I have to deliver eldest to work, and usually have something I want to do. Even if its grabbing a coffee while on my own. I haven’t really done much with the ‘Saturday gratitude’ (sorry Judith) posts but Saturdays are my day when I can do something similar with my own twist.
Alfresco Saturdays – given my penchance for chillin’ with my cup of caffeine at my favourite coffee shop (occasionally with my favourite man, when he’s home). A simple post of a picture and few words. A welcome to the weekend 🙂

The posts centred on Kelly’s postcard wall have proven popular, but there is no ‘P’ day of the week for postcard alliteration, so Travel Tuesday might fit the bill (this is also the day hubby usually flies out.) and be the weekly overview of postcard arrivals.

Food Friday can be an overview of anything new I’ve made and tested during the week or a mini review of a cafe/pub/restaurant we’ve been too. Hubby and I do lunch out the day he gets home, which is a Thursday currently, so that works. Has anyone tried garlic crusted tuna lasagne for instance??

That might be enough as I have to make sure I get these into routine, or more importantly, remembering to actually do them.
Is there anything you would like me to write about, set day or otherwise, or do you like my random ramblings as they are?

Jen 🙂