Tag Archives: teenagers

It’s valentines day…

And you want me to do what with it.
I’m so over valentines.
Sure when we were younger, way younger and new to this whole love caper, we did the odd bit of Valentines lovey stuff.
These days, life has changed.
We’re older, still married, more in love than ever, and have teenage kids.
But that shouldn’t stop you, I hear you say.
True. Nothing should stop you really.
But why should it be just one day only.
Why not show each other every day.
The eldest is celebrating his first valentines day.
And in a few days, the first anniversary.
And where is hubby.
At home, but not.
He’s off on a bike ride with friends.
But even if he were at home, what would we do.
Maybe go and have coffee. And that would be it.
Not flowers, no chocolates, no surprises.
I used to work for Hallmark, so I’m over all the ‘seasons’.
It was fun, but it wears thin when you’re working a season 6 months ahead of time.

I say do what ever makes you both happy.
But women, give your man a break.
Expectations, mind reading and high maintenance ideals.
Get back to basics. Does he have to try and win your love all over again.
If you’re truly still in love then it should be something that happens daily.
In the small things.
The hugs, the kisses, holding a door, paying compliments. Easy stuff.

Have a great day whatever you decide to do and may it roll into a wonderful weekend.

Ps. It seems I am a day ahead of myself. Oops. It can stay, one day won’t change much.

Kids, dating and a little respect please.

I’ve just finished reading a blog where the mother – of 7 – talks about dating and what age is appropriate.
It made me think about our thoughts on it, how old is old enough and how we dealt when our eldest started ‘dating’.
First, let me clarify a few things.
Dating is not really a term we use in Australia, and the general consensus in terms of definition, is that dating is when two people are interested in getting to know one another better, therefore going on a ‘date’.
While we use the term ‘going out with ~insert name~’ it is not so much used anymore (as in, ‘will you go out with me?’ type of thing), but then ‘date’ isn’t used much either. Essentially though, it’s the same thing.

We’ve spoken to our boys briefly and sporadically about this issue, and they are mature enough to understand. I can only speak from the (mother of) boys point of view and I’m sure the parents of girls will have varying degrees of differing opinions.

We’ve always stated that being friends with girls is more important than worrying about having a girlfriend and any of the stuff that comes with it. It’s good to have some understanding of the species before you want to get really involved.

Our turn finally came early this year when Mr 16 approached me, with a conversation on one of the many trips up the road to work. He kind of had a girlfriend. As in, I’ve met a girl who I really like. I’ve met a girl who I’d like to see more of.

I was happy, he dealt with it in a mature (enough) way and we talked about it.
Many of his friends had had girl or boy friends since they were 14 or younger and thought he was nuts for not wanting to do that.
When we first arrived back here 2 years ago, Mr 14 who was then Mr 12.5, was hassled in grade 6 about ‘you gotta get yourself a girlfriend man’. He had no intention to and wondered why it was so important. Really, what do they think they’re going to do at that age?
I digress, but you see what I mean, they are not going to just jump into a relationship (of whatever kind) just because their friends do or want them to.

Dating for the older one has meant the first trip to the movies, and thereafter have been on numerous couple and group outings. Yes, they are dating, but they are still just being kids and hanging out with their friends as a group. This is a good thing!

Falling in love, as they have done, is an awkward and difficult thing. Definitely easy, but to know the difference between love and lust can mean a lot when it comes to respect and the feelings of the other person.
As far as other things go, all we said was to not go there too quickly, too look after her and treat her right. “Be good to her” I said. He was quite happy to oblige.

Back to main topic. Dating and when is it too young.
Considering kids these days are getting together earlier and earlier, it is scary to think where they get their notions of what a relationship is and why they think they should be doing these things at age 12 or heaven forbid, younger.
We both agree that there is plenty of time, and not to rush into anything. Be a kid, hangout with your friends by going to the movies or shopping centre (mall). You don’t need to even think of dating till at least 16. Now some of you may think that’s a bit old fashioned, but a little respect for yourself will go a long way with the right person. And going to the next step? Why would you want to give it all away so young? Does it make you a hero or something. And where’s the rule book that says it has to happen at this age.

Learn to love yourself, and have respect for the other gender and other people.
Girls, if you dont respect yourself and your body, how can you expect other people to?
Boys, treat the girls nicely. Respect their wishes, listen to what they say. Unless the word ‘yes’ is spoken, consent is not given.
Consent is the all important word, and goes as much for girls as it does for boys.
All simple things, but its amazing how many mothers/parents do not tell their kids these things.

Dating is all well and good. When your kids are mature enough to deal with and accept the consequences of their relationship actions. What age that is depends on you, but let your kids be kids. We have a whole life to be grown up and mature.

Tell me, what do you think is too young, or the right time to start dating?
What’s your experience with your own kids, or what are your hopes for them?

Jennifer 🙂

Never mind Santa, my family came to town.

I am the youngest of four and Christmas week, all but one of us were in my house. Kids and one partner included. My eldest sister lives overseas so coming home very year is not a possibility, especially with her own extended family in her adopted home.

As a family we all get on pretty well. There are always plenty of laughs and loads of fun. Not so many arguments. Whether that is from not needing to say anything or diplomacy it doesn’t matter. Even the kids get on well, with few issues.

It is during these times of big family get togethers that I am happy I had my kids early, or at least that they are the eldest. Makes for a few less things to worry about. Back in the day when I was the only one with kids, it was awkward for me. Several times over the past week it was mentioned that ‘No, we do not want any more kids..’ As cute and lovely as our nieces and nephews are.

The ages of the kids last week were, 16, 13, and two lots each of 9, 5 & 2. Yeah, our house was busy and noisy and only a couple of times when the Mr 2 got a little rough. Because of this age gap, my older two were in their boy cave mostly until we dragged them out. I am not immune to their negative points, but they were polite, helpful and played well with the younger ones. Teenagers maybe, but good kids none the less.

You would think that with this meany people all hell would break loose. Not so. It was amazingly well organised. We never ran out of hot water between showers, baths and constant washing up. A routine of sorts was set quite early on, and it seemed to work. I even had to fight my way to the sink a few times, I like washing up, and have never been beaten to it in my own house. I think am definitely the home body out of all us. They kept telling me to sit and relax, and even scoffed at how neat their folded washing was ‘did you iron this?’ I just do it if it needs doing. And in a strange way, enjoy it. Necessary evil, but why hate it when it still has to be done.

My brother and his family came with the idea to just sit and chill and do pretty well nothing. This was done easy to accommodate and a date night was included. With 3 extra baby sitters how hard could it be. Mr 5 and Miss 2

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My sister arrived with plans to visit a few friends and other family. Misters 5 & 2 and Miss 9

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while I just potted about and kept the washing machine and coffee pot going as required, and enjoyed hubby’s company – he came home earlier than expected!

One day was spent at Huonville, just under an hours drive away, where we commandeered the bbq hut and spent a lovely day of family and fun. After lunch all but mum and I went for a ride in the paddle boats before ice creams were bought and devoured in the warm afternoon sun.

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Back at our house kids dragged various parents down the hill to the beach where they could hunt for crabs under the rocks, or explore the bush line. A few times we got our timing wrong and the tide was in so no playing could happen.

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The house was very quiet the day they left. Everyone had driven out by 8.30 for either a long drive or an early flight out of Hobart. A few misplaced items were found, but by all accounts packing was done with minimal left overs. Gotta be a first.
Now, as I write this, hubby is just a day away from heading back to work for 3 weeks in PNG and my eldest has arrived in Qld for his holiday. We had a very lazy New Year’s Day which included a short walk with the dog and a game of beach naughts and crosses.

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Jennifer 🙂

I’m so happy!!

I like….

– the way the dog is always so excited to see us

(man! mind blank!  how hard is it to find things I like. Of course there are lots of wonderful things I am grateful for, that I love…. but can I think of any of them now. Nup. Zip, nada, nothing.  Aside from the obvious that we are all healthy and essentially happy…. oh, wait there, this one’s a must to add in

– that people check out my blog and decide there’s something worth reading and they want more (LOVE you all)

Most of all, what I wanted to say was that

I Love that our teenage kids still want to talk to us! and we can laugh and joke around.
They’re even not embarrassed to wave or call out if they see us at school, even with their friends around.

It’s times like these I think we’re doing something right, and we’re not totally boring old parents who are out of touch.

Smiling as always 😀
Jennifer