A short while ago I did a post about creative writing and how I don’t class myself as a writer. The responses got me thinking as to how I see myself and how others might see me. I took all these comments on board and have been thinking about it on and off since. I will admit that at first, I was annoyed at what was said, but after some contemplation, it is purely how others see me, and not a reflection of me personally.
I realised that as our opinions are based on our experiences, how I see myself as compared to how others see me (even through writing on a screen) is neither right nor wrong. They are just different aspects of the same person. Of course I have always known this, but it’s been some time since I’ve really thought about it.
I came to the conclusion also, that what we think we are or are not comes down to what we identify with. Being good at something or having the potential does not mean we identify that and call ourselves a “….” It simply means we are good at it. So I write well and if I put my mind to it, I could be a writer. That’s all well and good, but I don’t identify with that persona.
For me, calling oneself something is identifying with it on a level that requires a passion, a need, a yearning almost, to live and breath it. I don’t get that with writing. Not identifying with something doesn’t mean you’re not, it’s just how you see yourself. And that is the important thing.
What do I identify with? Photography and beading. Absolutely.
While I am definitely not a great photographer, everywhere I go I see things that would make great pictures. Whether in my way of seeing things, or a standard postcard snapshot. I see pictures everywhere. I don’t always have the opportunity to make it happen, but it is there. I yearn for a more physical type of creativity, rather than the mental. Take the other night where I went on a baking frenzy. I had been busy all day but once I stopped, had the need to do something. And writing it was not. If my room was tidier, or it was daylight I may well have sat and played with beads or taken my camera out.
I enjoy writing, and several locals here have even told me they love what I write and how well I do it. But it is easy when it is not about you, and is something you love. I will be re writing those poems and short stories because I like what I am reading and want to make them better. Because I can. Because I want to.
What do you identify as? Would you say others agree with you, or not?
(I’m not a writer, really)