Tag Archives: health

Thoughts of death

No, not me. I am perfectly fine in that respect.
Thoughts of death in relation to others. With regards to what has happened this week. This year.

While I wasn’t specific on my Facebook, it was enough to have people ask if I needed to talk. Yes and no. What do I talk about. I don’t want to talk about how I feel, I instead think about how the deceased person thought in those last few moments.
Of course we would like to think they have family and loved ones on their mind, but what about other things, regrets, wishes, what they could of, should have said to someone.

Do they get scared, a moment of “why me, why now?” And thoughts of where their soul may go to, their thoughts.
Are there thoughts of ‘I shouldn’t have done that, look where I am now’
Do they know what is about to happen and are they scared of that specifically. Or just what they are leaving behind, family and friends.

For those who choose to take their own life, is there a moment when it’s too late to go back. Do they realise they shouldn’t be doing this. There are other ways to deal with it.
Are they peaceful and relaxed, knowing it is the right thing.
Do they think of their family and friends, or just the reasons they are where are.

A freak accident, do they even realise what is happening, or did they have no warning.
An accident at work. Did they die doing what they loved, were they happy in that fact, but lonely at the end.
And then there are the reasons one can choose, health. When you are told you’re a prime candidate for a heart attack, what do you do. Fix things so you can get off that list. Or not worry, thinking it will never happen to you.

Would you rather see your partner and kids with you in hospital at the last minute or want to spare them them the pain. Spare yourself from seeing their faces.

And all the family wants is closure, a time to heal and then time to start over.

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Let me introduce you to Gym…

Ok, so I’m heading into day 4 and so far have worked out my own circuit at the gym and already starting to feel the benefits.
‘Yeah right’ you may be saying. I did start my better eating plan a week ago so I’m feeling less sluggish before I even start which means I feel the endorphines sooner than I think I would otherwise.

First up, let me tell you about our gym. It is in the local community centre, across the road from the school and while it is not filled with mirrors and state of the art equipment it has everything you need to do a decent workout or 2. Numerous exercise bikes, a cross trainer, rowing machine, treadmill, skipping ropes and all the weights & dumb bells you can poke a stick at.
They have several general gym classes available, a fit fusion (some kind of mixed up Pilates ) class and being open to anyone who wants to come as a casual.

There is a key to the gym in the Centre’s office or you can call the caretaker to arrange a time for them to open after hours. Most days the gym is open anyway during office hours.

Costs… this is the best bit. Unlike most gyms where you have to pay a registration fee and then crazy weekly fees, this is simply a per class or per session if you come and do your own thing.
I think classes are around the $10 mark. Average price for a gym class but the casual rate is $2. Yep, $2. Which is to cover basic cleaning and maintenance costs and it’s on the Honesty system. (ie: they trust you to pay as you go) and considering they have just bought a couple of new items I’d say there are enough people attending.
When I went in this morning I paid up not just for the rest of this week, but next week aswell. Paying in advance will keep me motivated to go back.

My routine has consisted of:
skipping warm up – 2 mins
– rowing machine – 5 mins/1000m
– cross trainer – 5 mins
– treadmill – walk 1 min/jog 1 min/run 2 mins/walk 2 mins (or something similar)
– arm exercises with weights:
triceps kickback, bicep curl, overhead triceps extension, lateral raises, shoulder press, and the last one I can’t find a name for, but I have seen it one of my dvd’s, its similar to a bicep curl but instead of twisting the hands outwards they stay facing forward.
I’m currently using 2kg each side, and 10 reps a piece with my aim to go to say 5kg and hold the reps. I want tone not bulky muscle)

– have a (large) drink and repeat.

This usually makes it to about the 45 min mark and I am definitely feeling it. After another week or so I’ll up it so I do a full hour.
Finishing with stretches to loosen up and make sure I’m not stiff and sore the next day.
Always stretch after exercising or you will not be able to move the next day! Even if you don’t think you need to. Believe me, I’ve done it and stretching works wonders.

Before I head off to see Gym, I do my normal morning routine – emails, blogs, FB from overnight (given most of my friends are in the northern hemisphere and as such the times are all out) while I eat breaky.

Now you may think that having breakfast before I go to the gym will only result in me getting a stitch or similar. Quite the contrary. Breakfast is to break the fast, so I’m feeding my body and giving it fuel to get through the following activities. I’ve found yoghurt with muesli & milk (and a coffee) is small enough to keep me going but not too much to feel stuffed.
I then feed the body again once I get home. By the time I shower and then put on a load of washing etc it becomes more of a brunch. Usually a boiled egg with toast, or a small tin of tuna and salad. Good proteins. This will keep me happy til mid afternoon when it’s snack fruit time while I think about dinner.

Main meals, I try to just keep my portions small and have more veg and salad. Fish will be playing a big part this summer Spring I think.

So that’s where I am, and feeling really good.
Thinking I may put hubby to shame. The boys have put bets on who’s going to get into shape quicker, or actually do it the end of the year. And seeing as their father lost in spectacular fashion last year on his bet, I think it’s a shoe in for me. (this is his challenge!! as I know he reads this).

Keep healthy and keep moving.
Crank up the music and dance like no one is watching ūüėÄ
Jennifer

I’m bringing sexy back!!

(working title: “Kiss denial goodbye, and welcome back the sexy mama inside” But, c’mon, admit it, you just had to see what it was about)

I wasn’t going to do a post specifically about weight loss or losing weight… Or getting fit or any of those things. ¬†Why, because it is a personal thing. Not one that we should pass judgement on, everyone has their own battles, ¬†even though human nature dictates to us to look a certain way. I’m sure even the cavemen had their partialities (a word?? if not it is now) to particular women.

So if I was not going to do this, why do it now?
There’s something about not fitting into any of your clothes that makes you go “shit, really have to move this arse” and that was essentially my thought the other day. My jeans were in the wash and we had to go out. Damn, what do I wear?! I did find something, that didn’t show off my muffin top or make me look pregnant.. at the moment I am wearing an over sized jumper with leggings that I’m sure makes my butt look huge, and I will go out like this to, ¬†coz today I don’t care, too much. ¬†Sometimes you just have to suck it up (or in) and move on get moving. ¬†Like today when I have no choice but to go out, being the only parent home and all.
There is also a thing called pride in yourself and not caring about what others think, and then there is just a complete lack of care and looking skanky or frumpy.  Neither is a good look, for anyone.
It’s also really sad when you continually wear the same things because you know they fit and look at least halfway decent. Worse still, you have to do this when you have a wardrobe full of gorgeous clothes that you love. ¬†I’m not too fond of looking like I’m fifty (physically) when I can look 30. ¬†Or better.

Sure, there are those that say you should be happy in your skin, no matter your size. (But most of the people who say this don’t have a weight problem and wonder what the big deal is). Yes, I’m one of them. ¬†And to be honest. ¬†I’m not happy. ¬†Yes, you have to be happy within yourself. ¬†Yes, it doesn’t matter what size you are. ¬†But you also have to be honest and get realistic – kick denial out the door – there are some sizes that are just not cool (or healthy).
So is this about wanting to look like the media’s version of what is normal, or what I want to be. It’s actually a bit of both. Ok, I’ll re-phrase that. I don’t think I should be super skinny and look like a skeleton. ¬†I do have some common sense. ¬†Besides I like my food too much and dislike gym workouts generally. ¬†Ha, And there-in lies the problem.
Where was I? Oh yeah, size and the media. ¬†The media like to make people feel like crap and have forced this ridiculous notion on us about what we should look like. What happened to Marilyn, she was a size 16 , curvy and one hot chick! ¬†Never mind the Twiggy era, that would be another damned media issue too.¬†¬†Why can’t we bring back curvy and sexy women as the ideal. ¬†I say curvy not lumpy and overweight. ¬†Celebrate your natural curves or get out there and make your own. ¬†Fit fabulous and full of curves.
As some semblance of common sense I also have motivation, and commitment by the bucket load. Oh, it’s all there inside, I just gotta force its hand sometimes.
Motivation coz I know I can do it, I’ve done it before, and I have so many pretty summer clothes just waiting in the wings. ¬†(Yeah, just a tad vain here, but I am happy to admit it)
And commitment. Yeah, I’ve done this before, I can stick to a (fairly) strict diet if I need to. I can still enjoy my junk food in strict moderation. And as a non lover of chocolate and other overly sweet things, I think I’m fine. (I know, the commenters are all waiting for that one). ¬†Savoury and salty is more my thing… just as bad I say.

If I want to do this. Then I will.

My motivation? It is only 15 weeks til New Years. ¬†And there is about 17kg to kick out of my life. ¬†So long as there is at least 12 gone I will be happy. I’m not breaking my back here, but being realistic. Lose too much a week and it can be detrimental to the overall goal.

I’ve done it before. That’s why am I back in this boat. Never mind the wagon, I lost that years ago. Kept falling off so I let it go.

Back in 2004 when we first arrived n Queensland I went off to a weight watchers meeting and that was my wagon. ¬†It was perfect. ¬†It took me about 4 months and all I did was walk and change my diet. Yes, walk. No gyms, no running. I walked on average 3kms a day, with a pram, which I’m sure helped no end. It was made easier because hubby had the car, so I had no choice but to walk.

And I looked hot. I can say that now. Wearing a mini skirt for the first time ever and having the confidence to carry it off made me feel really good. And that’s what’s it about. Feeling good about yourself.
Now back to the present…. And I’ve had all sorts of issues this year (damn being a girl sometimes, really) so my big idea of getting fit has been all round the bush and back again.

So what have I done. Well I have been conscious of what I’ve eaten. Considerably less between meal nibbling, well on the shitty foods anyway. Grapes (and nuts in moderation) have been my friend.
And this week is the start of the gym junkie. No, not gym junkie. Remember I dislike the gym, or at least the ones that make you watch yourself in the mirror. Really, why would I want to do that?

Seeing as my eldest has his license he can drive to school and I can pop over the road to the gym. ¬†So much easier to go if I’m already there, than try to work out how to avoid it.

So although there will be no pictures until I have finished, and even then I may not be inclined to share a before one, putting it out there makes you more accountable. ¬†Even though I personally know very few of my readers, so what do you care if I do or don’t do it. ¬†But I do. And if I am going to write and post this, then I have to do it. ¬†For my own health if nothing else. ¬†Getting closer to forty means I have to work harder to …..keep on top of everything. ¬†(of course I could just not post this, but that would be cheating. ¬†You guys wouldn’t even know but I would, and that’s all that counts).

So if you need a kick up the proverbial then here it is.  Getting fitter. leaner and healthier is about You!  And at least slowing down the clock on body disintegration.
Get out there and just do it!! Coz you know you can.

Smile your way through the pain ūüôā
Jennifer

(some sort of picture of me back then, courtesy of my brother…. not so many pics of me)

Taking the time to think, to ponder…

It’s been how long since I last wrote something… not sure. And at the moment it doesn’t even matter.¬† I have been so focused on so many things lately, and being singularly¬†focused on writing regularly here that I have come to an impasse.
There have been things going on with me personally that mean I have not had the energy or inclination to write, bead (somethings have worked at times though) or sew. Or do anything at all really.   Some of my readers will have an understanding of this.

I have decided that instead of  trying to do too much, post each day, every second day, I will go with the flow a bit more and just let it ride.  Stop putting pressure on myself to be, or do certain things.

I will be taking it slow,both here and elsewhere.  Doing as I please, when I have the energy, the inclination and the will.  I do have things I need to work on, a deadline for an Arts Trail (kind of an Open Studio thing) and ideas for my vintage bag line and new clay creations.

I now sit here, knowing I¬† had more to say, but feeling good so there is nothing to say. that sounds odd I know, but when I’m feeling down the words just flow in my head and I am usually nowhere near the laptop…
I have given up on my stats.¬† It’s not a competition, and in all reality I can’t keep up anyway.¬† Seriously, does it really matter. ¬†I have my small but loyal group of followers and commenters that I love hearing from and who always make me smile.
I have been reading¬†everyone’s blogs, even if I have not commented or liked, I have¬†read and enjoyed.¬† I find, in a foul mood, I just cannot be bothered to even like something, let alone comment.¬† I will return to my witty fun self… witty? whatever.

Don’t worry too much about me, I am not asking for sympathy, just putting it out there, and letting you all know.¬†¬†¬†It is just something I need to work through. ¬† How long it takes remains to be seen, but I am dealing with one day at a time as my mood takes.¬† I have started to do a run along our esplanade with the dog (he loves it and is very well-behaved, regardless of lack of road sense) which makes me feel better.¬† If I feel bad, a run will sort it out, and if I feel good a run will make me feel better. ūüėĬ† I was bored at the gym with no goal to aim for and while the weather is nice (fingers crossed) how could I not like a run along the water’s edge.¬† It is just beautiful.

That is all from me at the moment, I have a couple of blogs in line waiting to get published, but other things have to happen before they can go public.

Keep smiling, chin up nad have a great day ūüôā
Jennifer

I have learnt…

I should not try and post, or even write on my blog when my head and heart are somewhere else completely.
There ensues some kind of failure and an even more unhappy camper.

Gradually, making my way back out of that dark place, ūüôā
jennifer