Category Archives: Teens and kids

The boy and his bike

My eldest son is loving his bike so much he asked for a photo shoot this afternoon, even on the proviso I could publish him.
Clicking on the picture will take you to my photo blog to see more of the biking fun.
As I get back into lugging the camera around, and sorting my travel pictures, that will be where you will find the majority of them.

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times….

This was my day. I had plans to write a completely different post until I got two lots of bad news, and sat in wonder at the…at the absolute waste and sadness of it all.
I had organised this day to within an inch of its life (after the new events I really shouldn’t say that) and all was going well, one or two small hitches but it all came together.
The best news of the day was that my eldest now has his licence. His P plates, that licence to drive without adult supervision. When I first heard of the minor dilemma, I was angry, then later realised I am happy I wasn’t there or I would’ve had a meltdown. Seriously, that’s where I am at the moment. But dilemma aside, he drove capably and is now licensed to drive, and barely got home before he took off to collect his girlfriend and take her out. I fear I shall never see him again…. (Again, not a good choice of words).

The other cool thing, mr 14 often misses out on things, so I really wanted today to go to plan so I was able to attend a mini awards ceremony. The Mystate Student Film Festival. Even though our school didn’t win anything, or even have our movie shown, we were one of the finalists which, when going up against some the bigger schools, is no mean feat. There were show bags – really good popcorn, a bottle of water and a rubber piggy bank. (We snavelled extras to take home, for the family). I must say there were some very good movies there, even for the younger age groups, which were about the 11 & 12 year olds.
Part of this post was to include a picture with a whole “outfit supplied by” caption, but I felt too frivolous and shallow posting things like that when there is so much else happening.
A third good thing, (I’m working really hard to find good things to write if you haven’t noticed) was mr 9. He is a force to be reckoned with, but generally well behaved. I had him walk to the post office to be ‘babysat’ til nan and big bro picked him up, and when I called in too say thanks, I was told he was quiet as a mouse and very well behaved. And then she called me a walking licorice allsort.

The last 3 days have been all shitty news. Death that is not foreseen, that happens when you least expect it, is the pits. And that’s putting it nicely. And whatever you thoughts of Christmas, when you leave a spouse and children behind, it becomes even more heartbreaking. A parent should never have to bury their child, no matter the age. I’m just happier with the latest news that hubby asked me to check the text he sent me and we were on the phone when I found out. Trying to talk while you are both crying is not good, and when there is 2000k between you, it make sit a little harder.
Death has affected some or all of my family in one way or another this week, and not only do I have to deal with end of school stuff and booking in when I can work, but now I have to let them know there is a funeral to go to.

But life goes on. It will be hard for many people for quite some time, and all we can do is be there for them. Christmas will never be the same, not in the near future anyway. I don’t want to face the day my parents are no longer here, but how do kids, who are younger than my youngest, cope with such a huge thing.

Normally when feel sad, I would go and do something to make my self feel better, but right now, I’m going to just stay this way, and go to bed. Tomorrow is a new day, a day to start moving along, and get things organised. I won’t forget, but I won’t let it dictate my next move either.
I briefly thought about not finishing a post about Christmas after this, but controversial or otherwise that it may be, I will still do it. It is not taking away from anyone’s beliefs, or what you choose to do.

Be well and be safe.
Tell you loved ones how much they mean, you never know when today may be the last.

Jennifer. xx

This is not my picture but it fits my mood at the moment. It was kindly sent to me by Professor VJ Duke.  I had ideas about  writing a short story based around the picture. I am still working on this slowly.

This is not my picture but it fits my mood at the moment. It was kindly sent to me by Professor VJ Duke.
I had ideas about writing a short story based around the picture. I am still working on this slowly.

 

Bike time

My boys having some fun after dinner.
Doing jumps, and growling at the dog – who had a knack of getting in the way.

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Happy Monday 🙂
Jen

Kids, dating and a little respect please.

I’ve just finished reading a blog where the mother – of 7 – talks about dating and what age is appropriate.
It made me think about our thoughts on it, how old is old enough and how we dealt when our eldest started ‘dating’.
First, let me clarify a few things.
Dating is not really a term we use in Australia, and the general consensus in terms of definition, is that dating is when two people are interested in getting to know one another better, therefore going on a ‘date’.
While we use the term ‘going out with ~insert name~’ it is not so much used anymore (as in, ‘will you go out with me?’ type of thing), but then ‘date’ isn’t used much either. Essentially though, it’s the same thing.

We’ve spoken to our boys briefly and sporadically about this issue, and they are mature enough to understand. I can only speak from the (mother of) boys point of view and I’m sure the parents of girls will have varying degrees of differing opinions.

We’ve always stated that being friends with girls is more important than worrying about having a girlfriend and any of the stuff that comes with it. It’s good to have some understanding of the species before you want to get really involved.

Our turn finally came early this year when Mr 16 approached me, with a conversation on one of the many trips up the road to work. He kind of had a girlfriend. As in, I’ve met a girl who I really like. I’ve met a girl who I’d like to see more of.

I was happy, he dealt with it in a mature (enough) way and we talked about it.
Many of his friends had had girl or boy friends since they were 14 or younger and thought he was nuts for not wanting to do that.
When we first arrived back here 2 years ago, Mr 14 who was then Mr 12.5, was hassled in grade 6 about ‘you gotta get yourself a girlfriend man’. He had no intention to and wondered why it was so important. Really, what do they think they’re going to do at that age?
I digress, but you see what I mean, they are not going to just jump into a relationship (of whatever kind) just because their friends do or want them to.

Dating for the older one has meant the first trip to the movies, and thereafter have been on numerous couple and group outings. Yes, they are dating, but they are still just being kids and hanging out with their friends as a group. This is a good thing!

Falling in love, as they have done, is an awkward and difficult thing. Definitely easy, but to know the difference between love and lust can mean a lot when it comes to respect and the feelings of the other person.
As far as other things go, all we said was to not go there too quickly, too look after her and treat her right. “Be good to her” I said. He was quite happy to oblige.

Back to main topic. Dating and when is it too young.
Considering kids these days are getting together earlier and earlier, it is scary to think where they get their notions of what a relationship is and why they think they should be doing these things at age 12 or heaven forbid, younger.
We both agree that there is plenty of time, and not to rush into anything. Be a kid, hangout with your friends by going to the movies or shopping centre (mall). You don’t need to even think of dating till at least 16. Now some of you may think that’s a bit old fashioned, but a little respect for yourself will go a long way with the right person. And going to the next step? Why would you want to give it all away so young? Does it make you a hero or something. And where’s the rule book that says it has to happen at this age.

Learn to love yourself, and have respect for the other gender and other people.
Girls, if you dont respect yourself and your body, how can you expect other people to?
Boys, treat the girls nicely. Respect their wishes, listen to what they say. Unless the word ‘yes’ is spoken, consent is not given.
Consent is the all important word, and goes as much for girls as it does for boys.
All simple things, but its amazing how many mothers/parents do not tell their kids these things.

Dating is all well and good. When your kids are mature enough to deal with and accept the consequences of their relationship actions. What age that is depends on you, but let your kids be kids. We have a whole life to be grown up and mature.

Tell me, what do you think is too young, or the right time to start dating?
What’s your experience with your own kids, or what are your hopes for them?

Jennifer 🙂

So many moves, so little time. Apparently.

I’ve been tidying those annoying boxes of miscellaneous papers and rubbish and found a small sheet with a column of abbreviations down the left hand side. To most people it would just be a weird collection of letters, to me, I knew instantly what it was.
A list of the places we have lived.
And it’s scary.
Hubby and I skipped the whole share house (kind of) thing of living with friends for several years before finally moving in together.
We jumped straight in, at 18, to co-habit with another couple. Granted that didn’t last long and were soon living in their own place.

The list shows 17 places over the course of around 22 years.
Thirteen of those with kids. Slowly gaining a new child every couple of houses.

We moved out of house #4 while I was pregnant with #1.
So the nearly 17yr old has lived in 13 houses. (And been to too many schools).
Number 2 came along at house #9.
Son number 3 arrived at house #11 ( our second time here, and my third. It was the house I grew up in).

Eight years and five houses later we are back in Tassie and in house #17.

While I am competent and organised when it comes to packing and moving houses, I am really not wanting to move again. Although into a house we are actually buying would be ideal. And by then I might say stuff it and get the removalists.
This may come as no surprise, I don’t mind moving, the hunt for the house and then the fun, yes, fun, of moving in (even with kids) is almost addictive.

So just how many schools does that mean..
Lets see. I went to two. K-10 and then college. Hubby has a whole list.
Mr 16 has attended 9, including this years.
Mr 14, 6 and Mr 9, 2.
Lucky Mr 9 will have the least as he is now in the same school I went to, and has 7 more years here before he leaves gr 10.

All of us have attended the same school at some stage.
The local school at Woodbridge goes from kindergarten, ages 4-5 through to Grade 10.
I spent my entire school life here, second home and all that.
Hubby spent a couple of years here in early high school – little did we each know at the time – and both the older boys spent time here before we moved to Queensland.

I am really happy that they all spent some time here together before anyone moved. It was lovely to get school photos and see the three of them, just like the photos of my siblings and I…
I was like coming back home, in more ways than one. So many familiar faces and my Gr 5 teacher was still there. He retired and left shortly after we arrived… Hmm, coincidence…??

So it brings me to the end of my Sunday reminiscing, I shall head off to check out the super moon, and then getting everyone ready for the start of the school week again.

Now many houses have you lived in, or schools gone to?
Jen 🙂